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Poetry Departure — A Starseed's Musings

As an empath and INFJ, I often find myself giving over my power, will, and desires to others. The reasons for this are multitude. It could be to keep the peace. It could be to make peace. It could be simply to please another and make them happy. It could also be for selfish reasons. When others are stressed or unhappy I feel that in my body, I experience it. So, when I go out of my way to make another happy it helps me feel less stress, less anxiety. It has been a life long practice learning to temper this wild horse, to choose, to decide, to stay in my body and remain aware of my own mind. The following poem streams from this struggle...




And they say it all flows down

from the mouth of the river


I stand

mouth open

arms flung wide


I stare

I leave

Empty


So thirsty


I wade into the water

push against that boulder

my friend

well my friend

fell in


“living living living

just to please…”


Oh

Oh no


Oh no

stop


these hands

this mouth

of a sinner


but he’s not giving

anything easy

I don’t feel easy


I feel stressed


I eat

well

I meditate

well

I exercise

well


I still feel sick


This body

This body

Is an Alien


I’m an alien

I don’t belong here


“I’m going under

oh ah I’m going under…”


Back to the mouth of the river

mouth open

arms flung wide


So thirsty


but water won’t check

won’t heal these wounds

won’t erase my anger

my depression


No no

no more living just to please


oh

mouth of the river

swallow me

drag me under

drown me


in your infinity



SMC © June 25 2017 inspired by Mouth of the River by Imagine Dragons



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